The End
by LoveLikeYou'reNotBroken
Summary: Countless memories swirled through my head. Painful memories. The kind that stab your heart, as you look back with regret wishing you could change what you said or did.


**A/N: Hey guys just a quick lil oneshot**

**Disclaimer: For the millionth time I don't own victorious, we've established this already!**

**Btw. . . Don't really know why I'm so depressed right now, but whatever, enjoy my first attempt at angst. **

**. . . . . **

"_Dude why you rubbing my boyfriend?"_

"_Relax!"_

"_Unbelievable that you're even here"_

"_Very immature of you to say that" _

"_We're done."_

"_You're breaking up with me?"_

"_What do you care? I'm not your girlfriend anymore!"_

"_I want Beck back!"_

"_You love me again"_

"_Who said I stopped?"_

"_Beck and I aren't spitting up"_

"_Well…"_

"_Dude"_

"_Kidding"_

"_Beck and I are not splitsville"_

"_Well"_

"_Is there something you wanna talk about?" _

"_Kidding!" _

"_You didn't tell me she was nine!"_

"_You didn't give me a chance!" _

"_I think we should tell her"_

"_Fine. Tell her"_

"_I'll tell her"_

"_No you won't"_

"_I'm bored now"_

"_I apologize for. . . her"_

Countless memories swirled through my head. Painful memories. The kind that stab your heart, as you look back with regret wishing you could change what you said or did. I wasn't the most fortunate child, growing up with parents who don't care was never easy but I toughened up and pulled through.

I had Beck though, he was the one thing in my life that didn't let me down every time he opened his mouth.

He was the only one who noticed the scars on the insides of my wrists.

He was the only one who noticed I had drastically lost weight, and ran to the bathroom after each meal.

He was the only one who noticed the pale purple bruises on my cheekbones and eyes.

He was the only one who cared.

He was my rock, my savior, my love. The one thing I could depend on and actually really truly love. I was grateful for that and knew no matter how big of a bitch I was, he would always see through it and realize how badly I was hurting. He cared for me when no one else did.

Cat would care, if she could comprehend what was going on with me. Andre _did_ care, until Miss Perfect Fucking Vega walked into his life and it was bye, bye Jade. Robbie couldn't concentrate on anything besides his damn puppet so he wasn't even an option. That left Tori, and there was no way in hell I was going to trust her. If there is one thing I have learned through my life it's that you have to keep your pride intact.

So as I'm lying on the cold, lumpy disgusting hospital bed, and have a few spontaneous charges of electricity surge through me, begging for me to walk up, I realize, I don't want to.

I like being in the darkness, I like knowing that the end is finally coming, and I love knowing I can finally escape the pain.

I can faintly hear nurses and doctors scrambling around, poking me with suspicious needles and calling out scary words that are way too hard for me to figure out their meanings. I faintly hear Tori sniffle as she sits in the corner, holding Andre's hand. I faintly hear Cat's hysterical crying as Robbie holds her in his embrace, trying to calm her down. I faintly hear the heart monitor beside my bed give out until is only one steady beep.

And then, all I can hear is Beck's sobbing. He is laying over me now, his upper body sprawled across my torso. I want, more than anything, to reach and grab his hand but I know I can't, because I'm suddenly looking down from above after entering through a strange, blinding light and all I can see is Beck on top of my corpse.

I love Beck with all my heart and he was the only person that would even make me consider not doing what I did, but even he wasn't enough. He had been anticipating this, he knew it was coming, he just didn't know it was _this_ soon.

I died and I left Cat bawling.

I died and I left my love alone.

I died and I don't regret it.

I love Beck and Cat and my friends (_most_ of the time), but I needed to get out of that hell. They all deserve better than me any way and now with me gone they can finally have the lives I prevent them from having.

I have no regrets. Yes, I'll miss them and yes, it was hard but I did the right thing.

I died, yes and I did watch my funeral from this new world above as Beck placed a shiny silver knife on my grave. The same knife I shoved through my chest weeks prior.

I died, I have no regrets, and with the memories still fresh in my head, I'm finally _whole._

. . . . .

**A/N: Okay I liked this one, but I cried a little when I wrote it, not gonna lie. **

**So yeah, you know the drill, leave me a review!**

**-DanceChic23**


End file.
